I Hate You Too Charles Warnke

Jika neng tia menempel tulisan memabukkan ini (yang saya amini dengan cengiran lebar tentu saja), saya memilih menempelkan tulisan berikut.



Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi, and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale, or the evenings get long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail, frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return, or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, god damnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.
Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life that I told of at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you.



Sumber : thoughtcatalog.com

Saya tau butuh konsentrasi untuk membaca tulisan di atas. Tapi.. hei! Itulah filternya. Kalau bisa mengerti apa maknanya, saya bisa yakin kamu mengenal setidak satu girl who reads *nyengir*.

Dan saya makin nyengir lebar begitu tau penulisnya adalah pemuda 20-an tahun dari Barkeley, California.

Dear Charles, yes, my supporting cast are colorful. As the heroine of my own story, i can say it proudly; I hate your perfect description. Oh, and I hate you too.


About Takodok!

sleep tight, play hard, read carefully.
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15 Responses to I Hate You Too Charles Warnke

  1. Chic says:

    aku butuh kamus untuk membaca ini.. 🙄

  2. Pak Presiden says:

    antitesis yang mantap! 😆

  3. Ms. Plaida says:

    But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

    Iyaa, tenang ajaaa, udah biasa kook… xD

    Setuju ama pak Presiden yang kadang2 jadi Tetangga Sebelah saya, ini anti-tesis yang mantep. Sinisnya parah.

    Sayang sekali saya suka tulisan orang sinis.
    Oh what to do, Charlie. 😆

  4. warm says:

    jadi kesimpulannya , kamu masih suka membaca kan dest ? 😀

  5. Syntax syntax syntax… :-&

    Rhetoric, rhythm, terminal, vocabulary, syntax, plot, climax, itulah beberapa kata yang kulihat sekilas-lalu. (doh)

  6. evillya says:

    I hate you too, charles warnke. tapi kok saya jadi kesengsem ya? #tipikal mudah kesengsem dengan bad boy :))

  7. Alkadri says:

    Wow, epic…
    Eh, sekarang saya menjadi ragu-ragu akan pilihan mana yang harus saya ambil X(

  8. Takodok! says:

    @ Pak Presiden
    begitulah. Tertarik menerjemahkan? :mrgreen:

    @ Ms. Plaida
    i know you like it. Apa ini pertanda mbaknya masokis? *eh* 😛

    @ warm
    dalam kadar tertentu, masih dong om 😀

    @ Farijs van Java
    hahaha.. santai saja membacanya. Ga masuk ujian kok 😀

    @ evillya
    nah ini satu lagi hadir. Antri di belakang neng tia ya 😛

    @ Alkadri
    kalau bingung pegangan 😉

  9. PetzLuvNeiz says:

    hmm.. pacar saya tipe yang disebut di postingan ini
    should I hate him too? or not? #stetmenkontroversi

    • Takodok! says:

      you should love your pacar lah, daripada diembat nyamuk? Hehehe..

      • PetzLuvNeiz says:

        errr.. did u notice that “him” refer to Charles? :mrgreen: #abisnyangerasakayadihakimindandisalahngertiin

        • Takodok! says:

          Maaf. Kesalahpahaman memang menjadi bagian diri saya sebagai manusia :’) #kepancingdrama

          Nah, in contrary, i think you should thank him for those perfect description. Be careful, hold tight your girl or Charles will steal her *apadeh*

  10. PetzLuvNeiz says:

    @takodok uda kaya bunda Dorce aja 😛 #nyengir
    aahh.. jadi tambah sayang aja diriku sama pacar satu2nya ini :mrgreen:

  11. Pingback: “Perempuan yang Memperdaya Setan” — Cerpen Taufiq al-Hakim « Esensi

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